Need some help to get you started or just a little inspiration? We’ve got you covered.
We all know the final bit of our speech, that all-important question; “will you marry me?” but what about the rest of it? How do you make it memorable? How do you keep it meaningful?
Through our research, we found that writing the proposal speech came a close second to picking the ring for causing the most stress for grooms to be.
If this is you, worry no more! We have spoken to plenty of men who have gone before you and some of their partners to provide you with some handy hints and tips when it comes to saying the right thing.
There are endless ways to approach this, sure getting down on one knee kinda says it all. However, I’m sure you want to make this an unforgettable occasion, one to remember and you know she will tell all her friends the story too.
We’ll cover the main element of any marriage proposal speech but we also have some draft styles you can use in our Proposal Speech Styles article to help you further.
Before you start
Take a moment, you probably already know roughly what you want to say it’s just about how you’re going to say it. Don’t over think it. That said, a little preparation will set you up well to deal with the nerves. What nerves you say? We will cover this later.
For now, collect your thoughts. What are the key things you want to say? Think of it as more of a tick list:
- I love you
- You make me laugh
- I can’t see a future without you
- You’re my best friend
- All my best memories involve you and I want more with you
- You know all my quirks and habits and still love me back
- My partner in crime
Whatever they may be for you, noting them down helps. Every person we’ve spoken to in our research agrees with this step as it helped make it clearer.
Top tip: If in doubt wing it, now I don’t mean your actual proposal speech! It helps if you say it aloud but in your head will do. Trying to say it without any planning will give you some guidance on what really matters to you.
Keep it real - Sound like you
Don’t script it out, you want it to flow and it’s not going to be romantic pulling out a bit of paper to read from.
If you hate the idea of a speech think of alternatives. We will cover a few below but it could be a simple sign or a love note with the question at the end.
Perspective - use some history
This is a great tool for almost listing the reasons why you want to get married, pulling up all those “feel good” memories just before you pop the question.
Think of moments she will remember fondly:
- The first time you met
- How taken you were by her wit, beauty
- Your love for the same band
- Your first holiday
- The first time you said “I love you”
- The first time she looked after you when you had man-flu (it is a real thing).
Just look for those cherished memories you’ve shared and use some of those.
How she’s affected you
Not all will admit it but our partners do better us in some way. This is an important element not to miss in my eyes. It’s the reason you want to get married, why you want to keep her by your side forever and links very nicely with what I feel is the last element (the future).
For me, these were things like my partner helped me laugh at the little things that stressed me out and opened my eyes to more dinner options than just chicken and broccoli.
The last element before you propose and ask the four words that will change things forever is about highlighting why you’re a match and where you see your future.
- I can’t imagine a future without you, will you marry me?
- I love you so much and want to start a family with you but first, will you marry me?
Or you can summarise like this:
“these are just a few of the reasons I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
will you marry me ?”
Will you marry me? Things not to forget.
A total given but don’t forget to ask the words. It’s more common than you think once the nerves kick in.
We all hear this talk of the magic four words but there is always a fifth, your partner’s name. We can’t suggest this highly enough. From our research, so many partners went into a blur of shock and surprise that they didn’t respond until they heard their name being said, which snapped them back into the moment for them to say yes.
Don’t stop or worry if you’ve missed a part of your speech or say things the wrong way round – your partner won’t know if you’ve missed something you really wanted to say. As long as what you say comes from the heart and shows the emotions just roll with it.
Give her a second – once you take a knee it’s likely she’s going to freak out a little in a good way, give her a few seconds to take it in before you start.
Don’t worry about the stumble.
No matter if you’re the coolest cucumber under pressure normally, it’s very rare at such an important moment in your life that there will be no nerves at all. Something is bound to happen that may make you go stumbling over your words, if it does don’t worry about it! It’s likely they will love you even more for it as it’ll show what it means to you and let’s face it unless it’s the final question, they aren’t going to remember everything word for word (unless you’ve recorded it).
You don’t have to just pick one idea/style you can mix them up, putting something in writing to set the scene and then topping it off with a proposal speech can create an amazing memory. They will be in shock initially so make sure to pause or better yet capture it on film. It could make a great addition to the Wedding Album.
Good luck with your plans!
A little stuck on putting pen to paper, visit our 5 drafted proposal speech styles for more help:
- The things I love about you
- The shared memories you have
- When I knew
- To the point
- No words at all